Throughout life, some people will be kind enough to provide us with negative feedback on matters that are sensitive to us.
At times, it will feel unfair or unjustified. Either because of the way the feedback was given. Or because it relates to our sense of identity. But we can learn to see feedback as an opportunity for growth and reflection.
a) Take negative feedback as a warm hug. A gift you can use to grow.
b) Next time someone gives you feedback, resist the urge to defend yourself. Listen attentively. Thank the other person for giving you their time and mental space.

Take feedback as a gift

How can we connect when we're more concerned with looking good and honing a fake persona than we are with being authentic and generous?
Doing a bad job doesn't make us worse people. And admitting our shortcomings doesn't make us less worthy. It's the generous thing to do. It invites growth. Furthers connection.

The stories we don't tell

For most of our lives, we have been conditioned to think primarily through the lenses of language. At a tender age, many of us put together and learned to feed an inner voice or internal dialogue. With time, we may have lost touch with other parts of our nature.
Words can do so much for us. But our ability to reason goes way beyond what we can verbalise. The heart. The gut feeling. — We know more about what is important or about what is right than we let ourselves believe. But sometimes it is hard to listen. It is easier to mute a beautiful, inherent part of our experience of the world than to trust something no one ever taught us how to deal when we were kids: How to use our intuition?
One way we can cultivate our intuition is by journaling. Or by asking ourselves every other Sunday: "What do I need right now?", "What's important for me?"

The heart

Heartbreak is inevitable. Anyone capable of love goes through one at some point in their life. We cannot avoid wounds and bruises but we might be able to reframe them.
The story we tell ourselves as we're sulking and going through the motions matters. We can see our distress as an opportunity for a deeper level of self-knowledge. Use the time to rediscover old passions. Cultivate friendships. Gain perspective.
We might not be able to control every aspect of a relationship. Or how a certain person might feel about us. But we're able to shape our mindset.
A positive mindset. A mindset of self-compassion will give us the insight we need to keep moving.

Heartbreak

Tags

✨ Grow with me. Get my personal letters on emotional intelligence delivered to your inbox every week.

Other essays you may like

Take feedback as a gift

The stories we don't tell

The heart